Any parent knows that life with an allergic child is fraught with anxious moments. There are so many more things to think about, depending on the type of allergy that your child has.

Do you need to give Susie antihistamine before going to Grandma’s because of the cat? Do you need to pack the day’s snacks for Frank at daycare because he can’t have milk? Does Paul have his Epi-Pen with him for his sleepover tonight? It’s all about avoidance and management of the condition.

How do we get our children to understand this and work with us?

First of all, we do need to plan ahead. Our child is not like other children, and we can’t expect other parents to fully understand. Living without allergies is like a whole other planet. So, right from the very start, we must start to teach our children about their allergy. This isn’t to frighten them, but to empower them – and help them to teach others. A good example is to teach your child with food allergies to never accept food without checking with you first. This is a great way to ensure that your child is safe, and that those people who come in contact with your child are educated in the moment.

Planning ahead is not just educating your child: it’s also planning for each outing where your child’s allergy could be a factor. Include your child in that planning! The child learns more about the condition, and can use that information to help others to help her.  Planning could involve special food, taking prescribed medication to manage symptoms or taking antihistamines before encountering the allergen. (It’s important to remember that antihistamines are most effective if they are in your child’s blood stream before they are exposed to their allergen. This means taking the antihistamines approximately 30 minutes beforehand.)

This brings us to the people around us. How do we get other people to take allergies seriously? Maybe you have a beloved Aunt Lucille who keeps saying “a little bit won’t hurt”. Obviously, in many cases a little bit WILL hurt. Educate, educate, educate! Provide Aunt Lucille with a short report on your child’s key allergens, and all the forms that the allergen can take. Don’t buy a book and expect it to be read. Bring a single page, perhaps from a reputable internet site, and read it to her. Also, pack food, just in case. Many well-meaning relatives will forget that butter is a milk product, for instance.

Forgetting to take personal responsibility for an allergy is a prescription for your child’s reaction. It’s that simple.

You can decide how seriously to approach your child’s allergy though, depending on the severity of the allergy. If an allergy is mild, you may be willing to risk occasional exposure in exchange for activities that are very important to you and your child. Typical seasonal allergies could fall in this category, especially if they are well controlled by over-the-counter allergy medications. If an allergy is moderate, you may not want to risk exposure, but you could be unwilling to exclude certain foods or activities solely on the basis of the allergy. In this case, you might continue with an activity or food but carefully monitor the results.

You might also need to take more aggressive treatment measures. However, if an allergy is life threatening, you’ll likely want to reduce the risk to your child to as close to zero as possible. This strategy requires the most up-front planning and preparation for any activity or food-related outing, including packing your own food and taking measures to reduce potential cross-contamination. Within this continuum, you’ll have to find your own personal tolerance zone.

Don’t forget: some children will experience a steady worsening of their allergy with each exposure. While it is possible for some children to outgrow an allergy – especially if the allergy is to milk, egg or soy – inhalant allergies and food allergies to nuts and seafood do tend to persist. Parents also have to be aware of the “allergic march”.

The term “allergic march” refers to a pattern of allergy development as your child matures. For example, if your child develops eczema and food allergy before age three, you may find that he or she develops asthma once the original symptoms settle down. Once the asthma begins to lessen in severity, the same child can develop allergic rhinitis and hay fever just as he or she is entering the teen years.

The observant parent can help to keep the allergic symptoms under good control by paying attention to their child.