If you’ve eat a special diet of any kind, heading out to a dinner party or restaurant can be a significant challenge.

While this might not sound like a big deal to those who can eat anything, consider just how much of our social lives revolve in one way or another around food! Parties need munchies; meetings often involve food and drink of some kind; and then there’s the social short hand of inviting someone for a coffee when you are getting to know them.

What if your new friend can’t drink coffee? Or is allergic to dairy?

Just the other night, my son commented on the fact that I wasn’t eating the chicken fingers on our table. Despite the fact that they are made to be “safe” for our allergies, I’ve developed a blood sugar challenge and am avoiding all starches and sugars on my doctor’s advice. Instantly the conversation turned to whether it was as enjoyable and pleasant to eat a meal when one person wasn’t eating the same food.

This is how deep the need to share our food with each other goes. We want to eat together - it’s a sign of community. It’s a sign of love. Sharing our food with someone else is perhaps the original form of giving.

So, it’s not just the unhelpful waiter in a restaurant or the friend who wants to have you to dinner (but can’t seem to figure out your allergies): it’s even your well-meaning family who have the outdated idea that everyone has to eat the same thing in order to be part of the event. Somehow, it’s up to the allergic person to isolate themselves rather than all of us to recognize our differences - and make meals accordingly.

I have to think of my alcoholic friends: would you force a drink on someone just because it’s not sociable otherwise?

We need an updated idea of what is “sociable”. We also need to continue to grow the awareness of allergies and other dietary restrictions so that more people take it seriously. How and what we eat is a matter of health, and that matters more than whether the person across from you is eating the same things you are.